Today is my 11 year anniversary
Over the next day or two this site is getting an overhaul, so my membership reviews will continue in just a sec…we'll be right back. But…
I couldn't let the day go by without telling you a tiny bit of why I'm the luckiest man on the planet. And I won't repeat what I told you last year.
I have married up. Have you?
By now, maybe you know that I have struggled my entire life with the impostor syndrome. The good news is that over the last 11 years, I've struggled less. Part of the reason is because I've had someone who stands close by and speaks truth into my life.
Sometimes it's stuff I like to hear (“You actually will be great at that job”). And other times it's stuff I don't like to hear (“You need to make an appointment with your doctor”). But either way, it's always truth. And I can't tell you how important it is to have someone in your corner who is willing to speak truth to you.
Another thing you may know about me is that I travel a lot.
Mostly for work. This past June, right after WordCamp Denver, I took a break from travel. I've been home over a month without flying away from the family.
Since my daughter has been born, I've never had a three-month stretch where I've been home the whole time. But I don't fly away until mid-September, so this will be the first time in her life. The idea to take the break from travel (after 10 years of being away a lot) was my own. The motivation was my wife.
Her words were, “We sure like it when you're here. I know you have to go. And we appreciate how hard you work for our family, but I wanted you to know we don't take this time, when you're here, for granted.”
How do you not drop everything in recognition of the sacrifice your partner has made to raise two kids when you're away 20-40% of the year?
Let's be honest. There are two kinds of people in this world.
People who like cigars and people who love cigars. Am I right? Ok, I know. There are some people who don't love them. But my wife, while not loving them, has not only put up with me, put up with all the different storage devices I've purchased and set up, and put up with endless boxes of cigars arriving at our home – she's even smoked a cigar with me.
If she had her way, she'd bing watch Parenthood and read library books all day. Instead she has to listen to cigar talk and be willing to let me invite friends over to smoke cigars in the backyard. She even supports the continuous construction in the backyard as we keep enhancing it. And she's the foreman for teamLema.
Did you know I hang around WordPress folks? Sure, I do some WordPress work. But I don't do it for the code. I do it for the people. They're amazing. And you know what I do? I invite WordPress people to come stay at our home. I invite them to stay for a week. And I invite them to join us on our vacation to stay with us for a week. In the last six months I've actually done it twice – invited people she knew a little bit, to stay with us for a lot bit.
Did she freak out like a normal person would? No. Because she knows I'm a people / relationship person. And shortly after meeting these couples, she's the most hospitable and friendly person ever. Side note, people come because I invite them. They stay because of how amazing my wife is.
Being home this past 5 weeks has given us a lot of time to hang out. We even sent the kids to hang out with their grandparents for a week. We hold hands like we're kids. We take walks and drives. And mostly she looks at me and melts my heart as she tells me she loves me or she's proud of me. The other night she heard me on a phone call. And for the last few weeks she's been recovering from a surgery and I've helped her out. And so, one night the other day, she looks at me and says, “People don't get to see the patient side of you, or the nurturing side of you. But I get to see it. And I'm so proud of the man you've become.”
I can tell you this – I'm patient because I learned it from her. I'm a servant because I'm reminded constantly of how much she serves – me and our family. Yet when she sees it in me, and articulates it, it's like a power boost of inspiration to be a better me.
Here's what I'm saying
I could seriously go on for hours telling you how much better my life is than it was 11 years ago when we got married. I could go on, in tiny little stories, telling you how incredible she is – because she's amazing.
But here's what I'm trying to say.
I married up.
And I hope, if you haven't gotten married yet, that you do too. And if you have married already, I hope you did too.